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As you may have already guessed, there are two kinds of strap-ons:

  • Those that require harnesses.
  • And those that don’t.

Seems simple enough, right? Well, hold on, there’s more.

Harnessed strap-ons: require a harness to “strap (the dildo) on” to you or your partner. Sometimes harnessed strap-ons include a vibrator for the wearer. A few sex toy companies have designed packages that include a dildo and harness, but they’re not always the most cost-effective or practical options, especially since you can use a harness with almost any of the toys you already own. And since there a few different harness designs, you won’t know which fit you like best until you try it out.

Strapless strap-ons: don’t require any straps to keep the dildo in place. Instead, the wearer grasps their end internally – making the entire experience way more intimate than you ever could with a harness. Some of these are even designed to work with a bullet vibrator.

 

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While we’re touching on gender, just a quick aside-: a strap-on is an inert (typically) silicone implement used for sexual penetration. Any special meaning or fetish conferred onto it beyond that is entirely a function of who uses it.

That is to say- while some may enjoy conceptualizing and treating such toys as though they were natural extensions of themselves as a real penis would be, it is erroneous to presume that a woman who uses a strap-on has some sort of latent penis envy or desire to emulate masculinity.

A lesbian who uses a strap-on is no less of a lesbian for it, much as a straight man who enjoys being pegged with one is no less straight. But what’s the appeal of using a strap-on over penetrative stimulation with a regular dildo, for example? 

The (perhaps obvious) answer lies in the fact that one’s hands are liberated, to hold someone closer, stimulate other parts of them, masturbate and so on. Strap-ons also facilitate intimacy by allowing partners to give and receive pleasure in new ways, requiring increased verbal and nonverbal communication and connection.

Now that we’ve established that strap-ons can be fun for everyone (who enjoys penetrative sex, that is) how does one go about selecting the right one?

Essentially there are two principal types of “strap-ons”: 

1) Those that actually require “straps” or harnesses
2) Those that don’t.

Each has its respective pros and cons.

Harnessed Strap-Ons

As one might expect, traditional harnessed strap-ons typically involve two components: a harness and a dildo. Harnesses are available in a variety of materials styles and materials, including:

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A type of harness that loops around the waist and each leg for a comfortable fit with great control.  Three straps also mean greater customization of fit.  This style is popular because it also leaves the wearer exposed for additional stimulation.

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This type of harness provides a reasonable amount of control (though, as with the “jock” style, control is improved the thicker the straps are), and fits with one loop around the waist and one between the legs.  While this does not leave the wearer exposed, some enjoy the genital and anal stimulation the middle strap can provide during movement.

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This type of harness typically cinches together at the sides to provide additional support.

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This variety of harness has become increasingly popular recently and is designed to fit like a pair of normal underwear.  They are available in a host of varieties from more boxer-brief like styles to more feminine styles.

While these are strap free and therefore the simplest to put on, they also offer slightly less support and are less suited to hosting heaver toys.

 

You should always make sure you are selecting a harness that both fits you and the toy you are looking to use properly. Check the size of your waist and hips and the minimum and maximum diameter of the dildo or plug that your harness’ O-ring (which may be permanent or swappable) can accommodate so that the toy will fit snugly without moving around. Beyond matching the h

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